ASD - Being Literal

Living in an apartment has its ups and downs - especially when M is having a rough day and decides to have a meltdown that last hours at a time. But its those other moments that make you smile and forget about those meltdowns. Having Asperger's makes it hard for one to understand literal statements. Simple everyday statements like: Get up on the table to color so no one runs into you - so the child literally gets up on the table to color instead of sitting in a chair. You have something that needs to go in the trash so you ask the Asperger's child to throw it in the trash - they literally THROW it in the trash - doesn't matter if the trashcan is in the next room or not -- he/she throws from where they are. Oh I could probably write a book on things you should not say around a asperger's child. But sometimes you just can't stop what other people say. Imagine:

Bringing groceries in from the car and a new tenant is moving in carrying his boxes to the door. M being the caring person runs ahead and holds open the door for all of us. We all meet up at the door. I say hi and introduce myself. He replies: Hi, I'm Rich. My lil' polite boy returns saying: Oh My mom likes rich men.

Just imagine my embarrassment.

Today is tough.....

and i have no idea why. I slept pretty good, but I wake really feeling miserable - missing all those that left this earth before me. I am thinking about my dad, mom, brother, my grandson. Today's date has no relevance to anyone so why am I feeling this way? It's almost like I feel - okay whose next? I even sit here making myself envision just one thought that brought a smile to my face with each of these love ones in my past - but for some odd reason all I am seeing is the funeral and their body in the open casket. What's wrong with me - why am I thinking like this.

My beautiful grandson - August 26, 2007 - December 27, 2008
(16 months) Earned angel wings due to Krabbes Disease

My mom - July 8, 1938 - August 3, 2008
(70 years old) Earned angel wings due to cancer

My brother - October 28, 1958 - November 6, 2006
(48 years old) Earned angel wings due to massive heart attack

My dad - July 9, 1933 - April 25, 1988
(54 years old) Earned angel wings due to complications from open heart surgery

I don't have a pic of my dad on the computer or I would add him also.

I have so much to get done today and I just feel blah. I know it's okay to be missing all but why today. I want to so much crawl back into bed, throw the covers over my head, and fall into a deep sleep and when I wake my mind will be thinking differently. But I can't -- boys need pet supplies, I need food, I have about 4 loads of wash to do, cleaning, a bike to fix (and hopefully D will ride it today and not feel dorky in his helmet), I have a PSP to fix as M got a new memory card and wants everything transferred from his old memory card onto his new one, I have a web page to update for a client. I guess I better get a move on. I just wish I felt better.

I'm the meanest mom around....

Ok, we all rose to this rank by our children: "You are the meanest mom".. Well I have once again (probably the thousandth time) been told this. The issue this time... D got a cool bike from his older brother - a hand me down - and he wants to so badly ride it. Then why don't he you probably ask.. well here we go .. I am the meanest mom because ... you ready for this .. this mean mom is making him wear a helmet and omg he will be the dorkiest kid in the neighborhood. Per him "No one else has to wear a helmet - why do I?" I do feel for him, because I do not think helmets were even invented for bikes when I rode one - (no i am not THAT old.. - in case you were thinking that). But I know the statistics - and even know of someone who decided that he was too cool to wear a helment and now he is alone in his own little world unable to communicate or recognize anyone around him. I tell him my rule is No Helmet - No Bike. "But I will be careful mom"... How do you get thru to an 11 year old that it's not him (well really it is because he is a daredevil and of course a true all american boy that doesn't think there is anything wrong with riding up a 3 foot ramp and flying thru the air). I try to explain that being ''dorky'' (in his terms) is better than lying in a bed with a head injury - or 6 foot under. Of course, no kid thinks about that -- all they think about is "it won't happen to me". So for the time being the bike is put away because he won't be caught anywhere with a helmet since no other kid does. This helmet thing isn't new -- all summer long he wore a helmet - oops.. he is 11 now .. he doesn't need one per him. Even showing him the so called State Law that requires anyone under 12 to have a helmet doesn't impress him. His argument - then why don't the cops say something to the kids that are riding their bikes and don't have a helmet. He has a point -- but I continue to tell him that it is for his protection. I guess for today the bike will remain in storage until he feels undorky! This is when I wish I was able to buy myself a bike and we could go bike riding together all in our dorky helmets!

My prayers was answered -- we got almost 6" of the snow. I had some time to enjoy it with D my outdoorsman, but M didn't want to go outside cause it was "too cold". Well, I will be getting him out this weekend as the temps are suppose to go in the mid-upper 50's (only to hear a possibility of another storm coming our way mid-month. We will see if this fans out). M started OT to help with his sensory issues and PT to help stretch muscles and to work on straightening out his feet. Finally - the therapist also observed him walking on his toes and his foot slapping. I have been trying to tell the docs since he was a toddler and it was always pushed aside saying he will grow out of it. Now only to find out his muscles are so tight hence the reason why he walks this way. It took me to literally go over the pediatricians head to get anywhere.

I watched CNN's report on Autism (click to read) and it literally brought tears to my eyes. When Mary (Melissa's mom) made the comment that really no one understands what you are going thru unless they have a child with autism is the truest words. We have the behavior consultant coming once a week and that has been a real struggle for M. Sometimes I wonder if having one come every day would be more of a benefit. This week was better than the last visit . Last week he was literally out of control for almost 3 hours and this is with Mr. S (behavior consultant) trying to work with him to calm him down. Hopefully this week is an indication that each week will get easier. The goal is to reduce his negative behavior by providing more positive reinforcement and for me to recognize his cues when frustration levels are increasing.

Snow or Rain?

I want snow - and lots of it. I remember in the good ole' days when I would go out and build my snowman and forts. Those good ole' days are still with me. I am still a kid at heart - just wish physically I felt like it. Just two days away and each station I listen to in regards to this storm I hear it will be a hit or miss. Dam, my career should of been in meteorology. I can make lots of mistakes and still have my job. Counting down and I will pray to the snow gods that we get lots of this white stuff and not just the annoying fluff stuff. I WANT TO GO SLEDDING!